Facebook Group

Moderator Guidelines



Thank you for offering your assistance with the Wedding Planning Club Facebook Group!

The main areas we’ll need your help are:

  • Approving posts
  • Monitoring the newsfeed to prevent spammy, rude or unacceptable comments, and behavior. The more eyes we have on this fast-paced feed, the better. As the group has grown, and with emotions running high due to COVID, policts, etc, we have experienced an increase in bullying and rudeness.

Like all things, the duties and guidelines for this role will change over time. I am always open to suggestions, so bring them on! Multiple minds are better than one.

If you would like to step down from this position at any time, that is perfectly fine and understandable. The idea is for it to be fun to participate. If you are no longer enjoying the role, it’s time to move on.

Please take a moment to read (or re-read) the House Rules and Guidelines so you are familiar with what is allowed. (located as an announcement in the group) and you can also access it RULES


At this time, I am handling all of the member requests. This is only because I am using software that captures their info to a spreadsheet, and unfortunately, only one person can do the approving. So at the moment, that person is me.


Post-approval has been an enormous help to keep abuse to a minimum. The purpose of post-approval is to prevent vendor posts, keep out the riff-raff, and sometimes to protect members. It is not to judge or censor. Many posts that are not allowed have good intentions, even if it breaks our rules. If you leave feedback when you decline a post, please word it politely, such as: “I know you have good intentions, but we have to stay consistent with our rules and not allow any posts from vendors”

  • Be quick – Try to approve posts as quickly as possible.
  • Turn on notifications for post – If you see a post come through that you know is going to create drama, click to turn on notifications so you can monitor it. This includes posts about money, cash bar/dry weddings, family drama, etc.
  • Decline any post that goes against our rules. (refer to announcement post for rule details) RULES
  • Be aware of a member sharing personal or sensitive information. This isn’t breaking a rule, but sometimes we need to look out for the member. You can decline the post without marking a rule they broke, and encourage them to post it anonymously, or ask them to resubmit the post with any names, numbers, etc removed. (this could prevent them from being hurt in the long run, or having their post shared in shaming groups)
  • Send feedback. When you decline a post, you can click “decline and send feedback,” so the person can learn the rules. Select the rule (or rules) that they broke, and don’t forget to CHECK THE BOX at the bottom to share the feedback with them. The most common violations are vendor posts and not understanding what posts are allowed. Add notes – Make additional notes, if necessary, on the feedback section. This helps inform both the offender and other admin. (sometimes they ask what they did wrong, and a note helps) Sometimes it isn’t so much that they broke a rule, but it isn’t an appropriate post. For example, a hashtag post on Tuesday. Try to leave a friendly comment such as “look for our master hashtag post on Thursday.”
  • Review profile – It is helpful to look at the person’s profile for clues. For example, if they are engaged and sharing a blog post they ran across that has a great wedding idea, that is fine, but if they are sharing their OWN blog, that is not allowed. Sometimes vendors try to act like they are not a vendor and sneak a post in.
  • Review their group activity – Click on their name and see recent activity. This helps to give you an idea of their intentions.
  • Decline and block the evil! You’ll know it when you see it. (this is usually a spam post from a third world country, or an internet troll)
  • Leave it pending – If you are not sure if the post is appropriate or not, leave it pending and myself or another moderator who feels confident will make the decision.


They are not always intentionally breaking a rule or trying to get away with something. Most people are members of several groups, each with their own set of rules, and they will never remember our rules as well as we do.

People also comment on posts as they come across them in their newsfeed, without paying attention to where the post originated or what group it is.

Now that we have post-approval in place, most disciplinary action is on comments that get heated.


  • Comment on the post with a gentle reminder that moderators are watching the post, and to keep things friendly/polite, etc.
  • Mute the person(s) I love this feature! It is the perfect tool to instantly squelch an argument and give the parties a chance to cool off. Usually, the shortest mute time is all that is needed.
  • Send a warning in a private message
  • Tag the person in the comments of the House Rules post
  • Remove the post or comment (with or without feedback)
  • Turn comments off, so the post doesn’t get out of hand
  • Remove the person from the group if necessary. I try hard not to remove someone who is engaged and/or a good contributing member, but sometimes it can’t be avoided. (they can still request to rejoin, but it is a slap on the hand)
  • Remove and block the person from the group if it is exceptionally offensive



Vendors are not allowed to post. However, they are encouraged to comment on member’s posts with helpful and RELEVANT information. Not just spamming their business information in the comments, or repeatedly commenting the exact same thing on multiple posts.

  • If they are a contributing member, give them a polite warning.
  • If they have never added value to the group, and a repeat offender, feel free to remove them
  • Only block if they are very spammy (repeatedly adding their business info on posts without adding value, etc) from foreign countries, or repeat offenders


I have several keyword alerts set. Words like bridezilla, rude, tacky, admin, go fund me, and plenty of swear words. The keyword alert’s most significant advantage is to be quickly notified when a thread is going south. I rarely delete a comment based on this alert alone. I click on “post” to take a look at what is going on. I am not worried about swear words in general, as long as they are within an appropriate context. But if they are directed towards someone, or take on a bully attitude, then it needs to be addressed. Mostly, I skim the keyword alerts on the lookout for a thread that is getting heated.


  • You can click on the persons name and find out details about their actions as a member.
  • DOCUMENT IT! – If you remove a person, post, or comment, always document it by selecting what rule was broken, adding any additional comments. This helps to educate the member and let admins know what happened if it is questioned later.
  • Be careful with text – It is difficult to gauge the tone or emotion of text, and you won’t always know if a comment was intended to be rude. It could be a quick reply that comes across as harsh. It is also easy for conversations to sound overly heated when people try to explain their opinion. It starts off innocent enough and escalates from there, with both parties feeling defensive.
  • Second chances – I have been known to give second chances to those who have been removed from the group and ask for forgiveness. Don’t feel that I disagree with your decision. I am just hoping they learned their lesson and will behave better, and so far, I haven’t been disappointed by those I’ve given a second chance.
  • A lot of the decisions are judgment calls. That is why it is nice to have multiple moderators. Ask the moderator group chat what they think about the situation. It always helps to hear the different viewpoints and collectively make a decision. Don’t stress over making a mistake.
  • Be cautious with your own posts and comments and use care when wording any warnings. Sometimes they can come across unnecessarily harsh when it is a minor warning. I love to see moderators actively posting and commenting in the group. Keep in mind that you are an example to others. Avoid using profanities, don’t get caught up in arguments over opinions, and of course, celebrate member’s successes, provide support and share the love! 

Here is an image you can use if you turn commenting off.


If after reviewing this information you feel that you would be a good fit as a moderator for our group, please take a moment and complete the Questionnaire